baby its cold outside....

Do you ever get the feeling that something is wrong? An uneasy feeling comes over you?
And you're not sure what is it? Not sure what is wrong?
It fades away but reoccurs at random times during the rest of the day.
You try to not think about it, try to concentrate on the tasks at hand. Try to get your work done,
but it comes back to you and you just cant put your finger on what that feeling of uneasiness is.
Where it is coming from and why. I had that feeling part way through the day today.

It is Pearl Harbor Day. It seems appropriate that it rained today. So many lives where lost, the rain drops seemed like tears of those who lost a loved one. My Grandfather was there the day Pearl Harbor was bombed. When I was younger I remember one Christmas Eve after almost everyone had left he was telling stories from his past. I remember that he told one of him and his friend being there and running and a bomb hit and his friends
leg was injured when a bomb hit close to them. I am grateful for my Grandfather serving in the war, I am thankful he lived through it. I wish i had be able to have been closer to him and heard more of his stories. It is too late for that now, being that he passed in 2002, but his memory is always with me. In my heart he will always stay.

Today was brass juries day. Last night I felt a little scared. But after receiving a message and thinking about it more I realized I shouldn't be scared. yes there was more work I could have done on the piece earlier. But I did all I could in the time i had left. I worked the piece til I couldn't work it any more. All that was left was to do it. I tried to think positive before I went in, I went in smiling and confident. As I began nerves did kick in, I messed up, but I kept on going
I did all I could at the time. I didn't break down I smiled and listened to what was said to me after. I knew I messed up, I knew what I did wrong, what I need to improve on and it is a lesson learned. Another jury down, another mark in the book, another learning experience. I'll take what I learned and apply it to the future. i will continue to learn and continue to grow.
I will push myself as much as I can. I am learning to sacrifice. It needs to be done more. It is tough but no one said I was going to be easy. i have a lot to learn and a lot to do. I want to be the best I can and its going to take a lot of time and work. I need to change, I need to learn, I need to grow. And sacrifice has to happen. School and music are important to me. As are my family and friends. I need to learn when to say yes and when to say no. How to give up certain things. There is something I really wanted to do, but that I wont be able to do because I have things I need to take care of. Finals are fastly approaching. I have a final paper and presentation due this week, I'm in the middle of writing the paper, there are other things I want to do but I know what I needs to be done and I must do it. I want to do the best I can with all that I do, if that means sacrificing certain things to better something else then so be it.

That is all for now, back to working on my paper I go.